Current mood:

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We’re heading into Week 7 with Welker-like focus – take that to mean what you will. Lot of cash on the table this week, and we’re riding with the bevy of wrongly valued favorites across the board.

On a programming note, Thursday Night Football has been churning out shockingly watchable games, and Marshawn continues to be the most entertaining star in football.

Here’s a quick rundown on the locks of Week 7:

  • Carolina Panthers -3
  • Los Angeles Chargers -1.5
  • Under 43.5, Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts
  • Georgia Tech -6.5
  • Penn State -9.5
  • Alabama -35.5
  • Rutgers +9, Over 47

Last Week’s Locks

NFL Week 7

Cam hatz

Carolina Panthers -3 at Chicago Bears

Bears (overwhelmed) Head Coach John Fox has officially given the keys to Mitch Trubisky, in the same way your Driver’s Ed teacher gives you the keys to his Nissan Altima – with a steering wheel and E-brake on his side of the car. Mitchell-not-Mitch has been less than stellar in his first two starts, averaging about 120 yards through the air. Chicagoans are continuing to pray that a Polish-sounding Quarterback is the savior despite the early evidence to the contrary. Unfortunately, Mike Wilbon may actually have a point here.

We are taking the public side here, but hey, on occasion, the rubes pick a winner. We’re going to #keeppounding and hope we see stupid-hat-smiling Cam rather than stupid-hat-pouting Cam in the post-game presser.

Score Prediction: Panthers 28, Bears 14

Pick: Panthers -3


Denver Broncos +1.5 at Los Angeles Chargers

Inconsistency has been the one constant in the NFL this year, except in the case of the LA Chargers – their mediocrity is consistent. Bad against bad teams, good against good teams. It’s a relief that the Chargers don’t have any fans to be heartbroken by their fart-in-the-punchbowl antics, week in and week out.

This is the week when Broncos fans finally come to the conclusion that former-BrockLobster-backup and current “NFL starter” Trevor Siemian has no shot at being a franchise QB. Tune in, watch Philip Rivers redefine facial expressions, watch Siemian throw a couple of great looking spirals to the other team, and win some money.

Score Prediction: Chargers 20, Broncos 17

Pick: Chargers -1.5


Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts, Total 43.5

Punt, Punt, Fumble, Punt, FG, Turnover on Downs: A Second Half Story, by Jacoby Brissett. Tennessee’s defense, ranked 26th in the league through six weeks, isn’t the type of immovable object that typically inflicts a full two quarters of incompetence like what we saw Monday night.

With Blake Bortles still under center for the mustard-and-gold, defensive scores for the hapless Colts are always a possibility. Fournette should be running wild, but unless both defenses put up multiple pick-sixes, this game is a dead nut under. These teams could play six quarters without sniffing 40 points.

Take the under and blame the NFL for airing this game. Stay strong, Jags.

Score Prediction: Jaguars 17, Colts 10

Pick: Under 43.5



Wake Forest +6.5 at Georgia Tech

Georgia Tech runs a video game offense and nobody has been able to stop it all year long. Remember NCAA 2000, where you would fight over who got to run the triple option every play with Michael Vick? That’s what this offense does with Quarterback Taquon Marshall  – 121 rushes compared to 41 passes on the season. Everyone knows what they are going to do – and nobody can keep this team from scoring. This is the best offense Wake Forest has faced all year and the Deacons won’t score enough to keep this game close.

Score Prediction: Georgia Tech 41, Wake Forest 21

Pick: Georgia Tech -6.5

Harbaugh Michigan

Michigan +9.5 at Penn State

We know, we know, we know. We know what you’re thinking – “These asshats tell me every week that Penn State is super overrated, and that I should bet against a team with two Heisman hopefuls.” Well, we are finally coming around… kinda. We still have Penn State as the most overrated team in the country, but anytime you get a chance to bet against Michigan’s in-over-his-head Quarterback John O’Korn with a reasonable spread, you take it. He said this week that he’s excited for this game because, “Nobody’s really giving us a chance.” Yep, well, that’s because you don’t have one.

Score prediction: Penn State 28, Michigan 10

Pick: Penn State -9.5

NCAA Football: Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game-West Virginia vs Alabama

Tennessee +35.5 at Alabama

Tennessee has scored 26 points total in the last three weeks. They are now playing Alabama on the road.

This game is going to be absolutely hilarious, and Nick Saban will finally shove the coffin that Butch Jones is already occupying into the river. Tennessee’s boosters are getting restless – with another truly cellar-licking performance from Butch’s Vols against a former SEC “rival,” the UT administration will have no choice.

Zero chance that Tennessee scores more than three points in this game until Saban takes his foot off the pedal, which he doesn’t really do. Bama – easy money. Roll Tide.

Score Prediction: Alabama 48, Tennessee 3

Pick: Alabama -35.5

Rutgers hottub

Purdue -9 at Rutgers

Rutgers has established its New Jersey bona fides – this is the only school we know of that keeps a disease-ridden fratcuzzi in the student section.

We’re huge fans of what Jeff Brohm is doing on the offensive side of the ball for Purdue this year, running a fast paced offense with a rotating QB. However, what the Boilermakers have done on the offensive side of the ball has not carried over to their defense, which was gouged for more than 200 yards on the ground last week against Wisconsin. Rutgers’ potent ground attack should allow them to shorten the game and score with this Purdue team – we wouldn’t be shocked to see an outright win.

Take Rutgers and the over.

Score prediction: Purdue 28, Rutgers 21

Pick: Rutgers +9, Over 47


Feeling frisky? Win back the house.

Money Line Parlay: Cleveland Browns, Baltimore Ravens. Payout: +800

Money Line Parlay: Indiana Hoosiers, Boston College Eagles. Payout: +800



NFL: 7-5

CFB: 22-13

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