BY KENNY CASH AND CHARLIE BANKROLL
Welp, it had to happen at some point. Finally an off week for Bankroll and Cash. One of the worst bad beats of all time in Florida’s 4th down, game-sealed, run-out-the-clock mistake of a cover was the capper of an overall weird week in football.
Either way, we’re back, and if you’re rolling with us, you’re still riding high: 22-10 going into Week 5. This week, there aren’t as many marquee college matchups, so there’s a lot of value to be had. Vegas can’t handicap even slightly obscure CFB games. AND the public doesn’t know how to play them. But you’re no rube, you’re here. Tell your friends, this is gonna be a big week. #EverybodyEats
Here’s a quick rundown for the hungriest of you that are looking for straight picks, no corny jokes:
- Baltimore Ravens +2.5
- Cincinnati Bengals -3
- TCU -13.5
- Northwestern +15
- Florida -3
- Kansas State +3.5
- Washington -27
- Purdue -4
- Colorado -6.5
NFL Week 5
Baltimore Ravens at Oakland Raiders -2.5
Raiders backup QB and leading “He’s still playing football?!” candidate EJ Manuel fooled the entire world into thinking he is a halfway decent replacement for Derek Carr with one drive last week. We’re here to tell you – this ends now. There is no EJ hype train. The Raiders are going up against a fast Ravens defense that has underperformed, to put it lightly, in the last couple weeks. We’re looking for Baltimore to bounce back and hold this shaky Raiders offense in check. Flacco can scoot by with his usual one-touchdown, two-interception, 214-yard, seven-point fantasy performance, shouldn’t matter in this game.
Score Prediction: Baltimore 20, Oakland 10
Pick: Ravens +2.5
Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals -3
The Red Rocket/Rifle/BB Gun is making a strong push for mediocrity after falling far below the historic Dalton Line. Through four games, Cincinnati has been trying to convince us that they are truly awful, yet we know them to be merely bad.
Buffalo’s defense has been great all season, but offensive shortcomings limit their potential. With two key injuries to defensive anchor Marcell Darius and surprisingly effective receiver Jordan Matthews, we’re predicting a Buffalo letdown in this matchup. Hold your nose and play the Bengals here.
Also, regardless of the outcome, the Bills maintain their vice grip on the number one slot in the AFC East.
Score Prediction: Bengals 24, Bills 20
Pick: Bengals -3
West Virginia at TCU -13.5
West Virginia has dominant wins over Kansas (garbage), East Carolina (trashier garbage), and the Fighting Hornets of Delaware State, who lost to Missouri by 79 points. 79. So far, the Mountaineers most impressive game is a seven-point loss to Virginia Tech, who is coming back to earth after getting absolutely worked by Clemson. We’re playing TCU and praying 2017 Kenny Hill doesn’t revert to 2016 Kenny Hill.
Score prediction: TCU 45, West Virginia 28
Pick: TCU -13.5
Penn State at Northwestern +15
Despite Penn State’s dominant cover over Indiana last week, we’re unconvinced of their offensive effectiveness. With a couple defensive touchdowns and short fields all game, not even the two Penn State Heisman contenders stood out as impressive in the Nittany Lions’ rout. Northwestern played Wisconsin extremely close on the road and should be confident coming home. With Michigan on deck, we’re predicting a slight letdown for Penn State. Look for the Wildcats to stay in this until late.
Score Prediction: Penn State 30, Northwestern 20
Pick: Northwestern +15
LSU at Florida -3
Watching Florida’s final two minutes last week:
We’ve played Florida’s games each week, and had yet to lose until last week’s absurd final drive cover. Gators HC Jim McElwain literally apologized to Vanderbilt for scoring.
LSU is coming off one of the most embarrassing losses of any power conference team in the past five years. Tigers HC Ed Orgeron puts the “interim” in “interim head coach,” despite the fact that he is somehow a long-term hire.
Take Florida in this spot and look for former LSU commit and now Gators QB Feleipe Franks to prove definitively that he is the best quarterback on the roster.
Score Prediction: Florida 21, LSU 10
Pick: Florida -3
Kansas State at Texas -3.5
Kansas State is in their exact preferred position – road underdog. In his long history at KSU, HC Bill Snyder is 30-13 with the odds against him. Snyder should be able to get QB Jesse Ertz back on track, and his playmaking abilities will test a talented Longhorns defense. Malik Jefferson is living up to his (deserved) hype, but this Texas team doesn’t have enough firepower on offense to keep up. This game will go way under, look for Kansas State to win outright in a slugfest. Longhorns fans will riot, if they don’t have eleven too many bourbons during the game. Ok, riot unlikely.
Score prediction: Kansas State 20, Texas 17
Pick: Kansas State +3.5, Under 50
Cal at Washington -27
Cal has received some buzz this year from a number of outlets (including us), but an early statement win against North Carolina is looking less and less impressive as the weeks go by. Cal has put up a paltry 20 and 24 points against very weak defenses in its last two matchups, and is running into a buzzsaw in a Husky defense that has dominated each opponent thus far.
Although nobody has been watching Washington play this year because they’ve yet to play anyone even close to nationally relevant, a convincing win against last year’s PAC-12 championship opponent Colorado shows that the Dawgs are maintaining momentum through the early season doldrums.
UW hasn’t allowed more than 16 points this year and that won’t change here.
Score prediction: Washington 52, Cal 14
Pick: UW -27
Minnesota at Purdue -4
Both Minnesota safeties could be out in this game, and Purdue’s only losses have come from highly competitive games against Louisville and Michigan. Boilermakers HC Jeff Brohm has this offense playing well, and seeing Minnesota struggle to move the ball against Maryland indicates an inability to keep up.
Take the Boilermakers and cruise in the biggest no-brainer of the week.
Score prediction: Purdue 31, Minnesota 17
Pick: Purdue -4
Arizona at Colorado -6.5
We have watched Arizona’s offense struggle this entire season – Wildcats QB Brandon Dawkins looks like he is playing 2004 NFL Street at all times. Arizona has played two decent teams this year, and lost to both. Despite a poor showing against Washington, this Colorado team has enough talent to eke into the “decent” category. Take the Buffaloes at home.
Score prediction: Colorado 27, Arizona 17
Pick: Colorado -6.5
Live a little. You’re worth it.
Money Line Parlay: Los Angeles Chargers, Carolina Panthers, San Francisco 49ers. Payout: +900
Money Line: BYU over Boise State. Payout: +235